Hmmmâ€¦so I am just sitting here thinking to myself, selfâ€¦what are you going to do to introduce this blog to the world? I guess if I am going to preach about â€œkeeping it realâ€, I am going to have to write about the â€œbig boysâ€ first. The easiest and most entertaining way to do that is just to write the very first thing that comes to mind when I hear a name. Here goes nothing:
Great song writer and when you hear one of his songs, at least you know it is him. I donâ€™t think he is NEAR as humble as he likes to pretend he is, but I do think he is good people. I am not sure he can really pull off the Shaggy from Scooby Doo hair cut at his age, but he must being doing quite well for himself to have a big bus with his picture all over it. Please refer back to the â€œnot as humble as he likes to pretend to beâ€ statement. But, for the most part Brandon puts out great music people can relate to and enjoy.
How can you NOT like this fella? He is as cute as a box of baby ducks, he sings and writes about true love and honky tonks, he is as wholesome as apple pie, loves him some Jesus, heâ€¦.ZZZZZZâ€¦wait, sorry, I fell asleep. But with that said, he does seem to appreciate his fans and has been known to hang out at his obscenely large merchandise table until the last fan leaves.
I will admit that I am not very familiar with this band or their music. I only know that they are from Wisconsin or Oregon or some other Yankee state and they are related to some Motocross drivers or to Larry Gatlin and the Gatlin Brothers. It is way too complicated for me to wrap my head around. Moving on.
Call me crazy but I just canâ€™t get enough of Mr. Phillips, errâ€¦I mean Mr. LaRue and apparently neither can the rest of his fans since he continues to tour his ass off in that big fancy bus with the customized mirrors by playing the same four songs over and over. I mean reallyâ€¦when was the last time you have heard some NEW original Stoney material? I donâ€™t blame him, Brandon Jenkins is just saving all the good shit for himself these days. Again, I donâ€™t care because I love him, love his shows, and after he plays there isnâ€™t a dry pair of panties in the house. He is the perfect mixture of bad boy and bad ass to turn on the Sowhority girls with the daddy issues and entertain the rabid Manfans that canâ€™t wait to leave and crank up Oklahoma Breakdown at the next Frat mixer. I just try not to stand to close to him because word on the street is that he is VERY fertile. At least that is what the attorney generalâ€™s office says. Allegedly.
For someone on that wagon, I hear he gets THE best weed.
Wade is a class act and deserves all the success in the world. He is a crazy talented songwriter, a great performer, and above all a nice guyâ€¦but I think all his fans are well aware that he loves and misses his wife and we have heard that song written 50 different ways. Itâ€™s time to lighten things up and find a new subject to write about.
Cory, Cory, Coryâ€¦it may just be me but I think Cory may have a bit of a chip on his shoulder about the fact that he isnâ€™t technically as successful as some of the guys he came up with. I am not saying that attitude isnâ€™t warranted, I donâ€™t blame him. I donâ€™t really have that much to say about Cory other than the fact that if he insists on playing barefoot, he could occasionally spring for the deluxe pedicure with the paraffin dip.
Randy Rogers Band-
This one is a really hard one for me. These guys used to amaze me but since they have gone from an Econoline van band to a tour bus band, I have been unwarrantedly bitter. They put on an amazing show, but the experience just isnâ€™t the same. I can not blame this on them or their new material, I put the blame on the fact that the Manfans are so fucking annoying. Brady Black makes all this tolerable and he is pretty much the only reason I go to see them live anymore. I still think they are the best band around and they have more than paid their dues and actually deserve more of a national spotlight than other shitty bands like Eli Youngâ€¦but sadly, I am over them and I am afraid so are a lot of other fans.
Eli Young Band-
Speaking of themâ€¦I hear they are super nice, but Iâ€™m not. I think it is BULLSHIT that they have gotten into the Nashville spotlight yet still headline at the â€œRed Dirtâ€ festivals just because they are from Texas. Can you have both worlds? Sure, RRB can, but they are NOT RRB. They are just a bunch of semi talented dudes that are way, way overrated. They are proud graduates of the Rascal Flattsâ€™ hair academy and no matter how many stylists they have, they wonâ€™t win me over. I canâ€™t wait for their 15 minutes to be over so they can go away and start booking gigs with Ricochet. Remember them? Yeah, me neitherâ€¦that is my point! When things do fall through for them musically, there is always those coveted Cover Girl spokesmodel contracts they can go after.
Roger and his music are always a good time. Especially if you are 19, female and thirsty. Hey, all that information is public record.
Cross Canadian Ragweed-
Ragweed is the reason I even started listening to this genre of music in the first place. I will buy every thing they ever put out but I wonâ€™t set foot in one of their shows. Their crowds are full of stoned white trash freaks that arenâ€™t intelligent enough to even grasp the complexity of their lyrics. And how many times can you hear some toothless asshole scream â€œCARNEY MANâ€? I also hate the fact that they donâ€™t do a lot of their old stuff in concert, but I understand why they donâ€™t. I really canâ€™t write anything snide about them, not because I donâ€™t have anything to say, but because I am scared shitless of Codyâ€™s wife. And now apparently so is Stephanie Briggs.
God bless Fowler. He is the poor manâ€™s redneck Gene Simmons with that tongue of his and he gives fat chicks in belly shirts with rebel flag tattoos a place where they can be queen for the night. I appreciate that. He puts on a great show and who cares if it IS the same show for the past five years. Hey, if it ainâ€™t broke, donâ€™t fix it. I think he is a great entertainer and comes up with those amazing coordinated hand gestures for the crowd to do. That shit is sheer genius! Itâ€™s totally interactive. Get your stingers up people! Like Aaron Watson, he always meets fans and hangs out at the merch table instead of running back to the bus, not like sayâ€¦â€¦Randy Rogersâ€¦and for that, he will always have devoted fans.
Ok, I guess that about wraps it up for the first blog. More to come!