Texas Women: Episode One…Life is getting thumped in the *bleep*ing forehead!

Screen shot 2011-07-15 at 6.57.34 PM

Once upon a time I used to do this celebrity gossip blog on Yahoo 360. Imagine that. One of my favorite things was to do full recaps of various shows like Flavor of Love and American Idol. Although I still watch every single Reality TV show I can find, I haven’t reviewed any television is a really long time. Well, until a little thing came into my life…a little thing called “Texas Women”. It was almost as if the heavens opened and JC said, “Rita, this one is for you.” This might be the perfect show to recap since it is about “Texas” and with Ali Dee in one of the staring roles, it also covers music in the “scene”. So boys and girls grab your red and blue Kindermats and gather around because like Jesus shared stories to the lepers, I am going to share with you the first episode of the most groundbreaking show since Rock of Love Bus…CMT’s new “TEXAS WOMEN”.

If you missed the episode, you can follow along with us below:

The show opens up with the Jason Aldean’s song “She’s Country”. Hmm, while this is no doubt a rocking little “country” tune, let’s take a gander at the list of all the states this song mentions:

South Carolina
Alabama
Georgia
Kentucky
Mississippi
Kansas

What an AWESOME song choice for the theme. It makes PERFECT sense why it was chosen for a television show about Texas. Oh wait, it doesn’t even mention Texas.

The first “Texas Woman” we are introduced to is Anna Hunt. Oh and like most Texas Women, Anna is from California. I hate to admit this because it shows how sick my addiction to Reality TV is, but I already know this broad. Anna was on TLC’s Beyond the Bull and Family Jewels with Gene Simmons.

I thought I was going to love Anna. Even though she is from California, I was so ready love her because before I became an heiress, I was also a woman in a man’s world and I have also worked with all men the majority of my professional life. Again, I was ready to love her until the first thing that came out of her mouth was “when I get dirty and sweaty, they think that’s hot”. Ugh. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I ain’t hating on her…yet. I don’t blame her one bit for using what she’s got…err, I mean bought because I have been known to bat my eyelashes at work from time to time to make my life easier.

Anna is a “stock contractor” which is a fancy way of saying she supplies the livestock for the big rodeos. Can you say caaaching? Do you know what a good bucking bull’s spooge goes for now a days? Let’s just say one load of that spunk could buy about 15 of Hannah’s Louis Vutton bags. Oh, who is Hannah you ask? Don’t worry, we will get to her in a minute.

I couldn’t come up with a catchy nickname for Anna and it would be tacky to go the obvious route and use the word that rhymes with her last name. Even I am not that mean. A few things that stand out for me are her uber trendy hair feather and the fact that is is working with about 380 cc’s each. Her boobs look great in the wife beater and something tells me she doesn’t have to wear a Lane Bryant 6 hook back smoothing bra to make them sit up and smile for the camera. I mean, she IS from California.

*Insert the ever popular Texas classic “Me and my Gang” by Rascal Flatts as background music*

Next up, we meet Hannah and Brooke.

Hannah is our “party girl/wild child” of the bunch and calls herself “Hurricane Hannah”…no seriously, she says the word “Hurricane’ 8 times in the next 2 minutes. The first few clips we see of Hannah include her throwing back shots and dancing on the bar. Hello America, we have found our breakout star! I have two words for the future: Celebrity Rehab. I also gotta mention that Hannah is an amazon and looks about 6 feet tall…and she has legs for days. I read on the CMT website that Hannah is an “inspiring model” which is usually just code for “unemployed”.

Hannah and Brooke are besties that live together, even though Brooke immediately lets us know that Hannah is a kleptomaniac that likes to steal all her shit. Because of her sticky fingers, Brooke admits she encouraged Hannah to move outta her house and move in with Anna. The Hurricane is excited about her living situation because both of the girls are single. When she said that to the camera, I thought we were going to have our token reality show lesbians, but then I realized she just wanted to have someone to hit the bars with…because Brooke married. What a buzzkill. After Brooke grabs her little titties in the front yard and does a protective sweep of her luggage looking for stolen Kippy belts, Hannah hits the road!

Meanwhile at the house that CMT rented, Anna and her Yorkie pup Dorothy can’t get in and she has to call Hurricane to see if she has a key. While Hannah calls herself Hurricane once again on the phone, poor Anna has to sit by the beautiful swimming pool with her case of product placement….errr, I mean Shiner Bock. Duh, of course she is drinking the California favorite Shiner, we are in TEXAS and that is what we do. And we all have oil wells in our back yard and are named “Tex”. Does anyone else think Hannah seems like she is blitzed on Novocaine? She seems a little too relaxed.

Anna and Stickyfingers walk into the house and the banter is painful to watch. Blah, blah, “I can’t cook”, blah blah, “I don’t do dishes”, blah blah. Awww, it is so cute that these skinny chicks think that we think they really eat. The inside of the place looks like a dump, but it does have a fascinating red and white check’d tablecloth floor. Oh, and Hannah has a dog too but we don’t know its name jut yet. Ugh, snoozefest…can’t they at least do the obligatory fighting for bedrooms like they do on the Real World? I also think it is bullshit that they ALL don’t have to live in the house.  Hello…have you not seen Jersey Shore?

At least at this point we get a good look at Hurricane’s hair extentions. How does she not realize she looks like a cocker spaniel that just got back from the groomers…short on top and crazy long on the bottom? Can someone get Kim Zolciak’s wigmaster Derek G on the phone so he can tighten her weave up please?


Anywhoo, we are now chilling at the pool and Hannah says the word Hurricane yet AGAIN…are you serious? Willard fucking Scott doesn’t even talk about hurricanes this much in the month of September! Doesn’t she know any other natural disasters? Jesus, can we get a landslide or a tsunami? Fuck me…how about El Nino?

We have more uncomfortable conversation by the pool…blah, blah…and Anna let’s us know that Hurricane stole all of HER crap too. I think I am just going to nickname her Winona. And apparently these two hooches are the new Oscar and Felix…one is messy, one is clean. Naturally.  They are the new Odd Couple! That right there is just good casting CMT. Bravo.

Anna and her boobs walk hand in hand with Winona off into the sunset until they see a spider and Hannah freaks out. I would personally like to thank the CMT cameraman for shooting this scene from behind because we again get to see Wi’s hair extentions that are about 3 shades darker than her real hair.

I hate both of these bitches already…except for Dorothy, that bitch is cool.

After the commerical break we meet Brooke…errrr, I mean we HEAR Brooke. Bless her heart, but her voice is almost as annoying as…as well nothing I have ever heard in my lifetime! It is a cross between Minnie Mouse and Miss Howard Stern Andrea, if they both huffed an entire tank of helium.

Brooke is a barrel racer that is married to the kinda hunky yet oddly large ear’d professional bareback rider, Jason Jeter.

Brooke and Jason apparently keep their horses at his parents house and watching the clip I am fairly certain that Jason’s parents live at Churchill Downs. Holy back up the Brinks truck…did you see those stables? DAYMN! Those horses are living large! Their digs are so much better than Anna and Hannah’s at the Checkerboard Hacienda.

Jason and Minnie head out to do what all Texas women do…blow up mole holes. Or are they gopher holes? Hell, they don’t even know what they are, but those bastards are going down! Maybe they are groundhogs. Maybe they are prairie dogs. FUCK! I need to know! Actually, what I really need to know is do most Texas Women blow up woodchuck holes while wearing ginormous hoop earrings…because Brooke does.

While Brooke and Jason are Oklahoma City bombing the chipmunk dirt condos all I can picture are those assholes from PETA breaking out their poster board and Crayola markers and planning a little field trip to the CMT building in Nashville. I can hear the demonstration chant already…”There is no excuse for mole abuse, there is no excuse for mole abuse”

Where was I?

Is she fucking for real with that cackle and how can I get it for a ringtone?

I can’t help but like Brooke and Jason as a couple, I think they are really cute…not as cute as a dead ground squirrel, but cute none the less.

FINALLY…it is time for some Ali Dee camera time.

Even though Ali is the “First Lady of the Dallas Mavericks”, an Emmy award winner, and the perfect example of how to wear clip in hair…we learn that it has always been her dream to be a country music singer. She says, and I quote, “I can’t think of one thing I would do if I wasn’t going to be playing country music”. Ali, I have an idea that might help you out if you don’t make it in country music…you can be the FIRST LADY OF THE MAVERICKS. You are welcome. I’m here to help.

This episode ADee has a gig at the Greenwood Saloon and she is super dee duper excited to play for the girls. Did you see what I did there? Hey…why in the hell doesn’t Ali have a Rita Ballou sticker on her guitar case??? Pffffttt. You are dead to me now Ali.

All the “Texas Women” show up and we get to experience the plethora of fake hugs and fake compliments. Seeing all these broads together it is pretty obvious that Ali is the hottest and classiest of the bunch.

Showtime!

Ali actually sounds pretty good doing her song, but I have a few questions. I have been to many a bar in this great state of Texas and I have never been in a bar where EVERY SINGLE MAN is wearing a cowboy hat. Come on CMT, gimmie a break. And speaking of cowboy hats, wasn’t this show taped in May? I have never seen a real cowboy busting out his FELT Stetson in May. I am calling BULLLLLSHIT.

I have been going to dance halls since about 7th grade when I would go with my parents to the SPJST and I ain’t never seen no one in Texas dancing like Miss California. Did anyone else see Brooke fist pumping and rubbing up all over that random cowboy? I like to call this behavior “beer bottle deep throat foreshadowing”. Oh yes, wait for it.

At least nobody said Hurricane in that segment.

*Insert the ever popular Texas classic “Me and my Gang” by Rascal Flatts AGAIN as background music*

Next we see Ali Dee crash the Ranch radio station in Fort Worth with a rubbermaid tub full of beef jerky and…a hubcab? Oh my hell…if you look at the receptionist desk she ALSO has a rubbermaid tub and a hubcab! What the fuck?

Ali, along with her massive Oriental Trader bamboo fan earrings and 62 bangle bracelets, “cold calls” the station Loretta and Doolittle style and asks to see the Program Manager, but the chick at the front desk has to buzz him to see if he is available. Hmmm…since there is obviously a camera crew BEHIND her desk I am thinking the CMT production staff had to go in and set up lights in his office, I am just going to go ahead out on a limb and say it will be ok. I LOVED Ali’s surprise face! Hey, I said Ali won an Emmy…not an Oscar.

Now it is time for the world to be introduced to the Grand Poobah of the Ranch radio, Kevin McCoy. Ugh, we have more uncomfortable dialogue where Kevin pretty much calls Ali out for not dedicating more time to her music career. (Ease up McCoy, she has a reality show to star in! Sheesh!) At long last, McDreamkiller does agree to play Ali’s song during the Charla Corn show.

Did anyone catch the Clay Wilson Band CD on Kevin’s desk?

Somewhere in a Pike frat house in Texas a really tall guy just piddled his britches. (Luv ya Jdar, mean it!)

Am I the only one that thinks Kevin looks like Tippy the Turtle from those Art Institute “Draw Me” ads you see in the back of the magazines?


Jesus Christ on a Ritz cracker I am exhausted already from this show…and we still have 18 more minutes to go!

So, next up we get a glimpse into Brooke and Jason’s castle and see Jason cooking some scrumptious looking steaks…or maybe they are gophers, either way Jason just might be my dream man. He even does the dishes.

Poor Brookie confides in my new boyfriend about how much she misses Stickyfingers and her dog Gus, but my man admits he wants to sit on his couch in his drawers so is glad she is gone. (GUS…Hannah’s dog’s name is GUS!) I have come to the conclusion that Jason is really deeply in love with his new bride because having a conversation with her seems like it would be a lot like talking to a toaster oven. Good for him. I love him for loving her.

Ugh, back to the Twatty Twins.

Hannah and Anna are heading out to the Stockyards to get their drank on and the first stop on the booze bus is the Reata. The Hurricane saunders right up to the bar and orders two Cosmic Cowboys. Hmmm, I dunno what is in a Cosmic Cowboy but I would guess that they contain alcohol. Dun…Dun…Dun.

Did Hannah happen to mention that she is only 20 years old? That’s right boys and girls…underaged drinking in the bar caught on camera. I don’t care about Hurricane Jailbait, but I do feel kinda bad for the bartender that served her. Those TABC peeps usually frown upon serving minors. Well, those Cowboys must contain absinthe because within seconds these biotches seem trashed, well at least Anna does.

Like all drunk frienemies, after a few cocktails Anna tells Winona that she needs to “grow up”! OH NO SHE DIIIDDDDN’T! Well, things go downhill from there. In the most obnoxious, cunty thing I have ever seen someone do…Hannah starts to WHISTLE at the bartender. Yes, WHISTLE like the person that is serving her drunk underaged ass is a cocker spaniel…all while wearing her cocker spaniel hair extensions. FUCK THAT NOISE. I think it is safe to assume that Hannah never had to work her way through anything in life by waiting tables.

Anna apologizes to the bartender and in MY OPINION playfully wacks Hannah on the forehead with the drink menu…and in return Hannah full on open hand facepalms her and damn near knocks her off the barstool.


Wait, am I sniffing glue or doesn’t Anna wrestle 1200 pounds bulls? Why didn’t she waylay her scrawny ass? I would have.

What. A. Bitch.

At this point, Anna doesn’t seem to know what the fuck just happened and is doing the uncomfortable laugh that you do when you don’t know what the fuck just happened all while Hannah is ranting about how rude she is.

Wait…I want to make sure that y’all get the complete cuntiness of her rant:

“That’s not ok Dawg. Like that’s rude. Like I’m gonna get pissed for real. Just don’t touch me. I’m fine. Just don’t touch me, its disrespectful.”

Um, didn’t she just whistle at another human being and demand that she serve her but now she is lecturing people about disrespect? So they squabble more about it and Anna gives us the motivational quote of the decade:

*Insert the Young and the Restless theme music*

“You know what life is? Life is getting thumped in the fucking forehead!”

Preach it sister.

I am going to write that in lipstick on my bathroom mirror so I can see it every time I brush my teeth. Well, the Hurricane got downgraded to a Tropical Storm and storms out of the bar. Did you see what I did there? Alas, I remember a day when hitting someone would get you banished from a Reality TV show. Shit, David got kicked out of the Real World: Los Angeles house just for pulling Tami down the hall with her blanket.

“IT WASN’T NOT FUNNY!”

(Please tell me someone remembers that.)

I can’t take it anymore. Make it stop. I’d rather watch a two hour “Casey Donahue Covers Broadway Showtunes” DVD than another second of this crap but I have 13 more minutes to go.

I have to wrap this shit up because I am SO done with this episode. Ok, in a nut shell for the next 13 minutes Brooke and Hurricane go shopping and just KEEP talking about the fight, they all meet up to have dinner where Hannah shares her imaginary story that made it sound like Anna body slammed her, Hannah gets served a martini without being id’d yet again, Anna shows up to dinner with what looks like an spiral Ogilvie home perm, they talk more about the fight, they do some finger waggling, Alli tries to keep the peace…kinda, Hannah illegally drinks more, they all make up and head to the bar, Brooke’s titties fall out of her floursant yellow top while she’s walking down the street…

*insert Big and Rich’s Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy*

…Hannah uses some dude as a stripper pool, and the Pièce de résistance…Brooke deep throats a beer bottle.

No wonder Jason loves her.

That deep throating concludes the recap of the first episode of the show and it looks like it is going to be a hell of a season. Can we now start placing bets on how soon we are going to see Hannah’s mugshot on TMZ?  I can see it now…hair all jacked up and mascara running down her face. She’s a star! Mark my words.

~Rb

81 Comments

  • Reply July 15, 2011

    Bad Apple

    Jesus Christ on a Ritz Cracker?!?!? Hahahahaha

    • Reply July 18, 2011

      LeAnn

      That’s GREAT work….

  • Reply July 15, 2011

    Sarah

    Yeah, I looked up Hannah on Facebook (because I’m that cool) and I’m pretty sure that douche bag graduated high school in Oklahoma. Just sayin.

  • Reply July 17, 2011

    Yo

    Could someone explain this pic of Ali Dee I found on Yahoo image search? I guess before she was the 1st lady of the Mavs she was the 1st lady of the former Super Sonics? http://www.piblues.com/ali05_12.jpg

  • Reply July 17, 2011

    Rita

    I think she was a super sonics dancer before the hosting stuff.

  • Reply July 17, 2011

    mike snodgrass

    Kudos, very good recount of the show.

  • Reply July 17, 2011

    Alli

    I would have knocked the wind out of Hurricane Hannah’s sails. I’m looking forward to seeing Ali “on the radio” with Charla.

    • Reply July 19, 2011

      Life is Too Short To Live in Dallas

      Ali is 10 times better than Charlie Corn plus I’ve seen them both interact with people and I doubt if Ali would throw a huge hissy and demand that someone get fired.

      I’m with ya though, I can’t wait to see more of Ali Dee!!!!

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    Is this shit real?

    WTF? What a waste of brain cells! The hurricane chic is just the same old white trash, not.hot.or.funny.but.thinks.she.is we all know. Useless, spoiled, and going over the top to be a character. She couldn’t hang with any real Texas wild women I know.

    The old stock contractor chic? Not Texan, or relevant? Just another wanna.be.in.the.game chic who’s schtick is that the guys let her play in the big boy pool from time to time because of her fake tits. Very empowering to know that your rack gains you some tiny bit of access, when the reality is that you don’t really have shit to do with the work of stock contracting.

    Ali? From the show I don’t think you would know that she is a TV host who has no idea what she would do if she wasn’t a singer. How about work for the Mavericks? You already do.

    You can’t get played on the damn Ranch? Anyone can get played on the Ranch. Don’t make the Ranch or Kevin McCoy sound significant for starters. You can only hear that station for three blocks. McCoy is a waste of space who knows nothing. Ass clown extraordinaire. It isn’t really all that realistic for the show to make it seem like you walk in to the studio, and ask for them to play you. If the show could come up with $4000.00 to give to one of the Texas Radio promoters, you could have a chart topper and the show would really be able to make a big deal out of nothing.

    Brooke is the closest to real on the show. Obviously playing to the camera some, but seems more real than anyone else.

    • Reply July 18, 2011

      LeAnn

      BAAAHAAAAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    lexipodolski

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    lexipodolski

    My first thought after watching the show on Tuesday : “I don’t even know how to be here.”

    The walking mugshot Hannah is that girl who I would always be friends with.. just so we would have someone to leave behind and take the blame.

    Brooke’s noise.. I mean her voice is terrible. When the camera points to her it’s like an automatic decibel and pitch raise. She can talk like a normal human.. I know she can.

    Alli is adorable and I almost feel embarrassed that she has to hang out with these women.

    Anna isn’t bad.. but she’s not right. California native.. PHPHPHH

    Also I’m glad someone noticed the VERY OUT OF PLACE BLACK FELT HAT in the bar.

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    LeAnn

    Sister Rita…. Preach on…. I’m CRYING, I’m laughing so hard. I couln’t have said this better, or more entertaining to a reader, myself.

    Too bad viewers will develop a COMPLETELY FALSE sense of real character and class that REAL TEXAS WOMEN possess. Very disappointing to gals like me :-(

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    JRT

    Without a doubt, this is hilarious! So true…what a bunch of dumb rodeo whores. This is the worst reality show ever. CMT…I did like you at one time.

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    Your GDRAS

    That random cowboy was your boyfriend Rita, get it together! Good run down!

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    Rodeoman

    I have known Hannah for about four years now and i have never one time heard anyone call her “hurricane hannah” until I seen the trailer for the show and she called herself that she is so stupid it’s rediculous!!! Yeah I wanna know what they are gonna do about her being underage cause me and all my friends were wondering the same thing. All of us that actually know her on a personal level think it’s so funny cause she tells us how cool it is being on tv and all this bull shit she actually is ruining her life with the people she knows, yes she might become famous with all the other stupid people out there that just watch the show but all her real friends think she is so ignorant!!!!

    • Reply July 18, 2011

      Hannah

      then obviously your not my real friends :)

      • Reply July 19, 2011

        Hanna Blew Me

        Yoooo HURRICANE!!!! Tell em how you motorboated my nuts in the sleeper cab of my truck at the Stillwater rodeo!!! That was awesome. You dirty dirty girl, I rode three times that night and you didn’t want me to shower. Filthy.

        You are a very talented young lady, my sleeper cab and dese nuts are open to you anytime.

        brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr–motorboat

        • Reply July 19, 2011

          Hannah

          lol Ive never been to the Stillwater rodeo!

          • July 19, 2011

            LMAO

            hahahaha that is hysterical! im sure you are not the only cowboy with a story! hurricanes sure can blow!

          • July 19, 2011

            Hanna Blew Me

            I stand corrected. If memory serves me, we met as you were stumbling through the parking lot on the way to the back gate. You didn’t make it to the rodeo, I gave you a cat call, you said “what are you gonna do about it?”
            I said “come over here and I’ll show you” It’s not exactly like I had to try.

            We made out for a minute, climbed in the truck, shed our clothes and you motorboated my balls.

            By the way, my highschool ring never did change back to its original color and my belt buckle won’t polish–you probably oughta get that thing checked.

            I’m not complaining though, everytime I ask a lot lizzard to motorboat my balls, I think of you, darlin

            Maybe your roommate can write a song about that.

        • Reply July 21, 2011

          Hanna Blew Me

          Also, is that lazy eye lid of yours from too much spunk being shot into it over time? It kinda looks like a Pavlovian eye lid, just kinda always ready to snap shut if a load comes flyin at it…

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    txcowgirl

    These bitches make us real Texas girls look like a bunch of crazy ass whores that party and bitch at each other all the time…. I mean for real??? I would have beat the hell outta Hannah for hitting me like that, I don’t put up with that shit. Thank you CMT for making Texas Women look like a bunch of fuckin idiots! I’m a real Texas girl, drive a dually, show horses, train horses, raise dogs, lives on 50 acres of land, go to TARLETON STATE and am on the ranch horse team. I know what it’s like to be a Texas Woman and work hard for what I have! Yea i might party but am never like the crazy bitches!

    • Reply July 18, 2011

      Nameless

      Preach on, sister….

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    realtxrodeogirl

    i unfortunately have had the god awful pleasure of knowing hannah helvey…after she creeped her way into the rodeo world, via facebook. she would come down to stephenville for some reason no one knew, and introduce herself at the bar as hannah heavenly. she is such a joke. nobody ever heard her call herself the hurricane. she’s just ignorant, oblivious to the real world, and repulsive. im sure her parents are so proud. who the fuck raised their kid to think they can whistle at a waiter or bartender?! the dumb bitch isnt even 21 or from Texas. sleeping on peoples couches while in stephenville for the weekend doesnt make you a “Texas Woman” she is making an ass of herself on national tv. she is P S Y C H O. was going to go off her birth control and f*ck and pro calf roper (who will remain nameless) so she could be a rodeo wife. REALLY?!

    anna isnt bad, she just isnt good at making a point while inebriated. and her abnormally large fake boobs make it hard to take her serious. and NO she is not one of the only female stock contractors. mesa pate, kirsten vold, payton and taylor hurst, cindy rosser moreno…there are plenty more. ill give it to her though, she can sure run to the hip, get one around the neck, and haul ass left. ive never seen her at an all girl ropin, but that could be cuz shes just too busy. all in all though, she does have a valid point. the worthless hurricane needs to GROW UP and GET OVER HERSELF no doubt. and she did handle that forehead thumping a lot classier than expected. she also seems to at least not be afraid to work a little. hannah thinks getting out of bed is work.

    brooke…ive seen her at the barrel races and has some nice horses, but i wouldnt call her a horse trainer by any means. i dont understand why she talks like an infant…but she got a good one to marry her for it! kudos. she needs to teach stickyfingers some manners, and respect for other people, since she is the “mom” or whatever. she is at least pretty real for the most part, and from Texas!

    ali dee, good luck with your music career…and act like you met your “girlfriends” before the taping of the show.

    • Reply July 20, 2011

      Hannah

      I am truly flattered your world revolves around me and you take the time to write so much on here! :) only going to make my ratings better! But I feel sorry for you, you must be really un happy in your life! :)

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    Gitwestern

    damn good wrap up Rita I agree with Snod….way to go life coach was we ever this stupid?

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    vidalia

    i saw shiner in last week’s episode of true blood!

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    vidalia

    so i am not going to watch this show, but saw something interesting. anna is from california, and someone said one of the other idiots was from OK. then i saw this
    http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=wilson/110609_mavericks_ali_dee&sportCat=nba article and it says Ali wasnt from tx but here as fast as she could???
    so are any of these women actually from texas?

    and what the hell did she win an emmy for????

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    Kayla

    Hahhaha best review ever. This show is terrible

    Did you watch the new show on style last nigh “big rich Texas”!? This show is hilarious! I’ll actually watch this one. Love the good drama not getting smacked with a menu drama.

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    LeAnn

    Will you be my BFF???

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    Wade

    Excellent Recap. Surprised you didn’t mention anything about how Reata is not actually located in the Stockyards. They seemed to like to use it for all their video montages, but never actually end up going there.

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    Keepin it Real

    Well I am from CALIFORNIA & all I can say is Anna USE to be a sweet person! She was very pretty before she decided to go under the knife more than once… Good thing both of the guys she has been engaged to got smart & left before the big day!!! As for her being a stock contractor I am 95% sure she got herself kicked out of the PBR! Every time I see her she is wasted & looking like a $5 whore. Let’s just say she is no LADY & has been seeing doing the walk of shame at more than a few rodeos & running with a bad crowd!
    As for Hannah the poor girl is so dumb that she doesn’t EVEN realize that anybody who has ever seen this show or heard about it would NEVER allow their son to talk to her. I would die of embarrassment to be known as a girl who steals! The 1st thing that I ever heard about her was at Red Bluff rodeo. I asked somebody who she was & their reply was “ Some dumb hoe from OK who steals anything that isn’t nailed down, screws everybody, & drinks like a fish. I wouldn’t touch that with a 10 foot pole & rubber gloves on.” That came straight from a Calf Ropers mouth! I mean really you have to do something pretty freaking bad for Angie Meadors to fire you as a driver.
    As for Brooke she married for the $$$$. She is an embarrassment to the WPRA! Jason is a great guy but as long as he’s happy who cares.
    I don’t know Alli D so I can’t say anything about her!

    • Reply July 18, 2011

      realtxrodeogirl

      she drove angie’s rig to caldwell last year from like sikeston or lawton by herself…was giving angie’s colt a bath, somehow got him in a bind and got him hurt. also she got angie’s dog’s eye knocked out. she drove for FOR FREE just to be out there. who does that?! this is all straight from hannah’s mouth. she has scared any guy with a PRCA card (or permit) with her crazy shit. one guy called her war paint to her face and she is so dumb she thought it was a compliment. the only thing real on her (for now) are her boobs. she’s gross. snooki and j-wow act better than her!

    • Reply July 18, 2011

      Hannah

      bahaahaha angie didnt fire me! we are super close and talk every day! but Im glad you think you know me so well ;)

      • Reply July 18, 2011

        jess

        so exactly how did you manage to drink underage on national tv hannah?

        • Reply July 19, 2011

          Susannah Fincannon

          What the hell? Big and Rich can have a big hit called Fake I.D. on CMT but no one says shit. A girl can’t have a fake I.D. at 20.75 years old without a bunch of prudes giving her a bunch of shit? Get over it! Networks have big liability clauses and cannot provide alcohol to minors. How do we even know there was alcohol in the drink? Can you smell it through the TV? You guys would be horrible prosecution attorneys.

          • July 19, 2011

            realtxrodeogirl

            because i know hannah, it also shows her drinking a beer. point is, she’s no where in the other girls age range and is acting like a complete fool. she’s just cast on there for shit like this. people want to watch an underage girl make an ass of herself. she’s so irrelevant to this show in every way. sad thing is, she can be a very nice girl. she is just lost about who she is and how to tell the truth, oh and not to steal.

      • Reply July 20, 2011

        Team Texas Women

        Get your stories straight realtxrodeogirl and keepin it real. Looks like you’re running your mouth about things you know nothing about.

        From Hannah’s FB page: (Can’t get the picture to show up…)

        Angie Meadors
        Oh my little hurricane…. U know I’m not a big facebooker nor do I like to get involved in rediculous ya ya talk. This time is different. Two of my favorite girls are involved. The blogs and emails that people have sent to me are just down right cruel and not true. Jealous people with to much time on their hands make me laugh and feel sorry for them. I just wanted to tell you your going to b just fine. And in the end, even better!!! Stop reading all the crap that people say. People talking means u did ur job! Texas Women IS a REALITY TELEVISION SHOW!!! For all the people who don’t know what a reality tv show is… It’s designed to make people talk. You did ur job. People r talking. People are watching!! Especially the people that are talking the most. Everyone had a pretty good idea of what the show was going to be and you can bet every one of those bad talking people had their televisions tuned in. Lol The funny thing to me is that the people that are talking the worst are the people that will never have anything in their life that someone will talk about because they do NOTHING but worry and talk about everyone else. Also funny how those people can say bad things about you and they don’t even realize they are being talked badly about too!! Then there are the others that try to be somebody and SOMETHING they’re NOT!!!!! Funny how they can judge other people but next time they might want to start with themselves. None of us are perfect nor do we always do the right thing. Also funny how they can talk trash and hide behind some fake name or email address. Moral of the story, if ur not being talked about ur not doing anything. And if your talking about someone else you must have to much time on your hands. The show is, what it is!!! It was designed to make people talk. The only difference is that you wer on a television show and that’s what you got paid to do. They’re just pissed cause they’ve been fools but they didn’t get paid!!!! Lol So don’t worry bout it!! I’ll be the first to say I’ve cussed you and wanted to beat your little skinny butt more times than I can remember But all in all I know you very well and I know you are one of the kindest hearted people I know. You’ve got a great heart and your a kind person. You and Brooke!!!! So you beautiful, funny, fun loving girls keep your head up!! Keep em talking!!!! Your real friends know you and that’s all that matters!!!!:-) love ya

        • Reply July 20, 2011

          Hannah

          ha well thank you whoeever you are but we must be fb friends lol and YES clearly these stories are rediculously NOT TRUE! i think its funny that people wanna spend time talking about me on here! I am truly flattered! And the stories they are coming up with are rediculous! ha I would hate to be them. :)

          • July 21, 2011

            Blah Blah Blah

            How long did it take you nincompoops to come up with this little charade…I bet it went something like this:

            Hanna–”I’m so, like, majorly bummed out. Everyone is telling the truth about me, I embarrassed my network because I can’t help from drinking and I think I’m better than everyone else. Plus, the guy who’s nuts I motorboated in Stillwater is on here now. Ugh. What am I gonna do? OMG.”

            Angie Meadors–”girrrrl, I got your back. I’m not mad that you blinded my dog, left one of my horses lame or any of the other shit you did. I love you girrrrl, your everything my lil pea brain wishes I could be. Drunk, on tv, getting paid for doin nothin and motorboatin nut sacks. If this shit takes off, I’ll be friends with a pseudo-celeb, what do I need to say? Can I facebook it? Does spelling count? I’m not good at the medium to large sized words or the tenses of words–its all the same to me:) Plus, that ole boy you motorboated in Stillwater had a nice ass and you said his dick was enormous so, in my book, you win that one. OMG LOL”

            Hanna–”OH THANK YOU ANGIE!! Once again, you are gonna help me out. I’ll say I appreciate it but I really don’t and if this shit takes off, I’m gonna delete your number first but hey, its all about me, right? That guy in Stillwater did have a nice ass and every now and then when I think about his throbber–it still puts a little hitch in my giddyup–I wish he hadn’t told people my cooch fucked up his belt buckle though…oh well. LOL OMG

            Angie MEadors–”girrrl, I got you. I gotta go jerkoff a bull. TTYL

            Hanna–”Thanks Angie, I gotta go motorboat a cowboy to buy my afternoon vodka. Totes TTYL

    • Reply July 18, 2011

      Blunt trauma

      Sounds like you know quite a bit about whores……Hmmm Interesting………?? Not real sure who you are to criticize anyone as an “embarrassment” to the WPRA. The WPRA is an embarrassment to itself…….Do you not know about the past presidents indictment for assault, that could have sent her to jail? She was a Texan. How about the WPRA thinking they would ruin themselves by leaving the PRCA…. How did that work for them? How about the $$$ in fines handed out at the NFR every year to bitches that want to beat their horses up because they are spoiled ass barrel racers that win all year long but can’t win aginst the best every night and it pisses them off. What about a certain high profile WPRA member who allowed her husband to ride a futurity colt to death, as in DEAD, here comes PETA bitches!, at a certain large futurity last year. Get your shit straight before you swallow what calf roper is in your mouth and use it to talk. BTW That Brooke girl has always had a job sooooo……that dsent really fit the marry for $$$ MO, don’t hate on someone because the married a good guy…… and I’m sure she would gladly beat the shit out of you if you think you need it.

      • Reply July 19, 2011

        Mother of 5

        If Keepin It Real doesn’t have the right to criticize anyone then what gives you the right to criticize her for having an opinion? Wow I find it pretty sad to threaten bodily harm over words.

    • Reply July 19, 2011

      Mother of 5

      Somethings are better kept under your hat!

    • Reply July 19, 2011

      Mother of 5

      What a person does in their private life is their business… If that’s how somebody wants to live their life that is their choice. The only person we have to answer to at the end of the day is ourselves & whatever religious belief a person has!

      • Reply July 19, 2011

        Really?

        Um…when someone makes their life public by being on a television show than they shouldn’t complain. No one forced them to be on tv and I bet they are paid.

      • Reply July 19, 2011

        Holy Dipshit

        SHUT YOUR LEGS!!!!!!!!! USE RUBBERS!!!!!!!!! Holy shit lady, get a life, get off this fucking blog and make sure your kids aren’t burning something down–JESUS. 5 fuckin kids????? Are you outta your mind????

        I hope you and your husband are brighter with the finances than you are with the birth control–if you want em. YOU PAY FOR EM.

        Holy fuckin shit, 5 kids. If you get pregnant a 6th time I hope your obstetrician punches you in the cunt and your husband in the balls.

        • Reply July 19, 2011

          Holy laugh til I cry!!

          That’s some of the funniest god damn shit I’ve seen in a while!!! AMEN!!
          “Five fucking kids?”……… Lol!! You hit the nail on the head.

          There should be an obscene tax levied on assholes that have more than 2 kids…….letter from the US Govt….Congrats on your 3rd kid….. BAM!! You now owe us your entire life’s savings…because your fucking up the world with your careless procreation and we need money to fix the damage your worthless ass kids are going to cause!!

          • July 20, 2011

            Holy Dipshit

            Exactly. Plus, if you have time to get interested in a “reality” show and participate in a conversation on a blog about said show–there’s ZERO chance she’s taking care of ALL FUCKIN 5 of those kids. Most likely, kids 1&2 are taking care of kids 3,4&5 while this fuckin idiot smokes cigarettes and gains weight.

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    xxxxxx

    Brutal but funny as hell! Look forward to episode 2 review

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    Vote me off

    Good Lord they all look like idiots. Marrying for money in Fairfield must be a popular past time.

    This show is a complete farce. What is the point? None of those women have any reality to them. All fake, from tits to brains, or lack thereof.

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    aaaaaaaaa

    Rita you are really funny in your writing. Wish the comments weren’t so harsh. I know Hannah and she is not the girl written about in these comments. She has a very kind heart, very sensitive and has grown up ALOT in the past year.

    • Reply July 18, 2011

      bbbbbbbbb

      Now that is funny. But I think we all know people like her. Just nothing between the ears, no depth or real character. They just walk though life, and now she is the Snooki of CMT. Trust fund baby who steals, whores, and doesn’t have any direction other than chasing buckles.

      And now she is showing it all on tv for the rest of the world. If she was smart, she would have asked to play the character in a way that made her look better.

      That whoring around, getting hammered and displaying that immaturity isn’t cute or funny, and nothing to be proud of.

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    Victoria

    I have one word for hannah and anna and who ever else thinks this show is “cute”….MATURITY!
    Great article by the way, im only 20 and i was taken back by the maturity level of these dumb bitches….WOW

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    kim d

    Ok girl youvhad me laughing from the get go!! I so love and agree with this review!!! Ali Dee is the only reason i watched it. She obviously has way more class then the rest ofthe cast. hanna is so not a model or she actually does her own make up and totally sucks at it! Lol. Brooks’ voice is annoying her husband is HoT!! And it must be the deap throaght thing cause if i were a guy i would keep it in her mouth just to jeep her quiet… harsh well….im kind of a bitch so who cares… anyway Anna ugh!! Just kept thinking if i met her in oerson i would accidently spill something on her to get her to leave, i hate reality show whoresthat go from show to show just to hang on to to their 15 seconds of fame…..but no twatwaffels here……lmfao!!!

  • Reply July 18, 2011

    kim d

    Ok gotta add they need to recast and get the Ok & Ca chicks out, they need REAL Tx women!!!! Rita back n our hayday we could have danced & drank them under the table and never had a stupid cat fight well at least nit with each other, and i may have given Ali a run for her money…….lol….but seriously this blog has given up more gissip on tge characters then fb, wow, great read, luv ya girl!!!!

  • Reply July 19, 2011

    TurnEmOut

    Blunt you know the circles so you also know there isn’t many that haven’t thrown it in Brooke out there. She is the right kind of but-whippin’ barrel racer. Prior to Jason, she was handling her business the way you want a woman to = Still giving it out for free on a regular basis, but she wasn’t all mouthy about it like that Hanna cumdumpster.

    And no one is scared of Jeter and his giant ears.

    Seriously, Brooke should know better than talk about beating a horse like that. She knows better and knows what kind of attention that draws to WPRA, and rightfully so I guess with people like her representing.

    The one thing Brooke has going for her is that she is the only Texan on the “Texas Women” show. ahaha

    • Reply July 19, 2011

      leterbuck

      i thought the same thing, even classier she claimed it was probably her fault because she was hungover. seems like none of these girls take any of their “ambitions” serious. hannah wants to be a model? why is she 20 yrs old still wearing tons of make-up, fake hair, and fake eye lashes? just b/c you are tall and skinny doesnt make you a model hunny. and claim to be a part time barrel racer? well, that would require entering. brooke says she is a professional barrel racer…and she works her horses hungover and “beats the shit out of them” when its her fault. anna has already had some success with her bulls but is now reality show hopping. and ali just doesnt know what she would do if she wasnt a country music singer! oh my! ummm…work for the mavs, obviously.

  • Your blog is one of a kind, i love the way you organize the topics. :D

  • Reply July 19, 2011

    ROBI

    lmao HOW embarrassing

  • Reply July 19, 2011

    taylor

    this is absolutely funny as can be, who cares if anna has had some fun with guys at a rodeo, what girl hasnt! some just have more fun than others…and hannah is young we have all been there before, i can almost bet my life all you shouldnt even be point fingers considering your probably guilty from some point in your life as well…the only thing I dont get is if this is a texas women show, why are hannah and anna on it considering neither are from texas?

    • Reply July 19, 2011

      Susannah Fincannon

      If anyone knows about TV, the network ends up naming the show. How do you know the creators hadn’t used another name that didn’t include Texas or Women?

  • Reply July 19, 2011

    sammijo

    congrats hannahs now you can really give everyone a chance to see how crazy you are on national tv! that girl was after my friend all weekend than when she noticed she didnt stand a flying chance she got drunk off her boney ass and ended up hooking up with his buddy caddo at a rodeo and her drunk ass didnt even stop when we all walked in on them!!!!!!! Ali is one hell of a singer and pretty sure she is going to be the only successful one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Reply July 19, 2011

    The one from Texas

    Only one is from Texas. Ali isn’t from Texas either. She will not make it in country music. Actually, she probably will because the CMT talking heads will make it so.

    Sorry show. Brooke is a piece of ass for sure. And a fun fuck to boot

    • Reply July 20, 2011

      Hanna Blew Me

      Will Brook motorboat your nuts?? Hanna will–it’s pretty awesome. Her pooty poo tarnished my class ring and her snail trail ruined a solid silver belt buckle plus, on really hot days I can kinda still smell her when I first open the sleeper cab on my truck. Cheap perfume, swamp crotch and vodka.
      Also, Ali Dee is hotter than a two dollar pistol and she’s got a great voice. I bet she makes a couple of good CDs, tours and makes some cash getting to do what she loves.

      Hanna will continue to motorboat nut sacks–that’s what she loves.

      Good for you for bangin out ol Brook. She is a piece of ass. I’d like to see her and Ali in a full lesbo sesh–

  • Reply July 19, 2011

    Susannah Fincannon

    Sure am glad everyone on here is was a non-drinking, virgin before they turned 21 and got married. Praise the Lord!

    This is exactly the kind of stuff that will make these gals skyrocket! Go get em girls!

    • Reply July 24, 2011

      Tornado Tootie

      Of course we were all getting shitfaced and whoring around before we turned 21, but we weren’t doing in on TV. I don’t think people are really trash talkin Hanna, I think the public is just shocked that it’s on TV. It is a poor reflection of the network, and the bars.

  • I discovered this website through Yahoo and I enjoy the information here. I have added the RSS and will definitely be back in the future. Keep posting!

  • Reply July 20, 2011

    Starting To Smell Like FIsh Up In Here

    Now we are getting somewhere people!

    Angie M has joined the party? Now we have some high class pussy up in this bitch. Put her on the show and let her show a little ass here and there and you have a fucking show. Goddmit that is one fine piece.

  • Reply July 22, 2011

    Kerstin

    You are so right!! the only reason i watched this show is for Alle Dee!!! however..although most of the stuff that u said was completely sooo true but i just wanted to tell you, one thing that when you were making fun of that guy at the greenwood saloon. i live in that town and my family is pretty good friends with everyone in the greenwood. you were talking about how all the guys were fake wearing their cowboy hats.. well I totally disagree! i know all of them and every time I see them, that is how they dress EVERYDAY not just because they were being filmed. they are all being real!! They also really do dance like that every night!!!

  • Reply July 22, 2011

    Karl

    YEAH!!! I live in Bluff Dale. THE TOWN WHERE THE GREENWOOD IS and I have been there plenty of times and almost all the guys are wearing a cowboy hat. Everything filmed is real. How about you actually go visit the Greenwood Saloon and then you can give a critique because you are lying. First, you need to see how everything goes before you post a bunch of lies on the internet.

  • Reply July 22, 2011

    Rita

    Hey Kerstin….I mean Kari. I am just going to assume you are the same person since you have the same IP address and posted within 30 minutes of each other…thank you very much for reading the blog and commenting. But honey, this is an ENTERTAINMENT blog that uses SATIRE…go ahead and look that one up. Also…if you don’t like it, don’t read it. It is my opinion…

    And Sugarbritches, everything that is filmed on a reality show IS NOT real. But bless your little heart for thinking it is.

    So as for you trying to lecture me about LYING…and making such as fuss about posting “a bunch of lies on the internet”…you might want to do that from two separate computers because it appears as if you might be lying and posting a bunch of lies on the internet.

    Oh, and go eat a bowl of dick.

    Thanks so much!

    ~Rb

    • Reply July 23, 2011

      kerstin

      hey i wasn’t trying to be mean and I swear Karl is NOT me it was my brother he is just i dont even know why he posted too!! I know about everything is staged im not stupid!! but im sorry that just cause i said one thing and my brother had to comment also and agree makes me a terrible and stupid person

      • Reply July 23, 2011

        Rita

        Its ok guys. I was just in a really bitch mood. Forgive me.

  • Reply July 23, 2011

    Karl

    Sorry Rita

  • Reply July 23, 2011

    westtxguy

    Can’t wait for the ticket guys in Dallas do a review!! Come Corby, Dan, or Gordon gives some selected clips with some commentary!

  • Reply July 26, 2011

    Cindy

    Pretty Sad. Alli is hurting her herself with the public. A Regular soap opera. These girls are so low class. It’s a shame they are in the public eye of younger girls.
    Read about Hallie Stillwell – “A real Texas Woman” . This show should be called ” Hot Texas Chics”, not Texas Women. A really hard hit to Texas.

  • Reply August 9, 2011

    Not a Betty Barrel Racer

    Just wanted to say that some of what is said here is definately true. The part about the WPRA, the former president of the WPRA having an assault charge, the part about Hannah driving for Angie, the part about Jeter’s nice barn, Brooke’s nice husband & nice family & nice horses. Yes, Brooke runs barrels, but boy does she need some help tuning her horses…they are a wreck! Just google her results and see she is running a second off every place she goes. More…Ali is trying to make it in the music biz, and Anna would love to be a stock contractor that is respected. There’s a difference is being one, and being respected as one. Now Hannah? Good grief. I dont think I have the strength. She’s a trainwreck not a hurricane. But the bottom line is this is all reality TV. Its like making mashed potatoes. You start with the main ingredient (all the potatoes above)…and you add alittle of the good stuff that you know people will just eat right up…alittle gossip (salt n pepper), a few lies (sour cream) some alchohol (bacon bits) & and whole lotta cleavage (butter butter butter). What do you end up with??? Something really good til you get your belly full of it….and turn the tv off. :)) Texas Women will run its course. I bet we are all gonna live thru it. :))

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