Y’all will have to excuse me while I ramble a little bit and be completely self-indulgent.
Ever since my “Non-Birthday-Birthday Party” night a few weeks ago, I had been in a really “dark” place. You can ask anyone in or around me the past few week…I was losing my ever loving mind.
(You can even ask Bob Cole! During the KOKE FM “Insider’s Club the morning show boys discussed exactly how crazy I am. It was a little mortifying, but I realize for people who don’t know me that well, seeing this kind of behavior from the usually silly-goofy girl that be-bops around the office in a Snuggie turn into a raging lunatic completely out of the blue for the first time HAS to be a tad bit startling.)
I have always been pretty open about my “funks” because it’s not like they happen that often and once I come out of the Crazy-Bitch Fog, writing about them helps me deal with things. Most of the time I am just a normal, fun loving hot mess of a girl, but occasionally I DO go to this scary place where I have these paralyzing periods where I can’t concentrate and have NO energy and don’t sleep for DAYS at a time…which apparently now causes “free-floating anxiety”.
It is awful and senseless and all-consuming and very, very lonely.
It really is stupid. and these periods are usually followed by completely unwarranted flashes of blinding rage that cause me to lash out on everyone and then those periods are followed by horrible guilt and regret and then begins the descent into what I guess the professionals call the dreaded D-Word: depression.
It is a shitty cycle that has started to get harder and harder for me to break the older I get.
The “depression” I can handle because I can understand it. I understand the concept of brain chemistry…it is this new-found ANXIETY over the stupidest, petty things that cause me to have such PHYSICAL reactions that I can’t seem to understand. But that is a story for another day.
I have to keep trying…but, I am doing great now.
(Stick with this story y’all…I promise I have a point.)
About two weeks ago, I saw a Facebook post from someone I follow (but I don’t really know in ‘real life’) about how they were going thru their own battle with depression and it made me sad. I wish I could tell y’all that I reached out to them and sent them a message to tell them that they weren’t alone, but I didn’t.
(The point is coming….wait for it…here is comes.)
I got a hold of the new The Way I’m Livin’ album from LeeAnn Womack and when I heard the song “Same Kind of Different” it stopped me in my tracks.
Do you ever hear a song that says everything you wish you could say…even to a stranger?
This song did it for me.
After hearing it for the first time, I had to stop and actually Tweet-Book-Gram something about it.
And just when I thought this song couldn’t get any better, I discovered that this song was co-written by Natalie Hemby and one of my favorite songwriters of all time…Adam Hood.
Here is HIS demo of the song:
I am not sure what they were trying to say when they wrote this one…but I know it helped me see things differently, if even just for one day.
I guess the morale of this story is…no matter how alone we feel with our problems, we aren’t the only ones that are suffering.
Now back to our regularly scheduled snark and gossip…