I know, I know…I suck because I have been posting so much about “those” artists lately and not enough about the Texas Music Scene, but the truth is I just blog about whatever is on my mind and we all know my mind is a sick twisted place. Since I have been dancing like a monkey for “the man” over on US 105 at what is literally my DREAM job except for the majority of the music we play, of course that is the kinda stuff I have been thinking about.
I know we all bitch and moan about shitty music and the truth is…I think I am maturing. Trust me, I LOVE to shit talk STUPID music as much as the next wanna be cool music snob out there, but I find myself wanting to promote what I do like and believe in instead of just knee-jerking towards running down that I don’t like.
BUT WITH THAT SAID…
Every once in a while something hits me and I have such irrational HATE for it that even I can’t even explain it. THAT is how I feel about the song “Redneck Crazy”. I have no idea why in the hell this song presses my buttons the way that it does, but I just can’t fucking stand it. I don’t think it is the singer that bothers me so much because this Tyler Farr fella seems like a nice enough guy. I don’t automatically get the douche chills when I see or hear him like say I do a Brantley Gilbert…and he is pretty damned cute, has superb hair and even has a good enough voice I guess, but this “hit” song of his make my ass pucker like NONE OTHER.
Boys and girls, I give you the video for the lyrical masterpiece that also includes such A-list star power of Lee Brice, Colt Ford and Willie from Duck Dynasty.
Where do I start? Here are a few notes:
1. WHY do you have to change the lyrics of your song from “get my pissed off on” to “get my redneck on” to play it on the radio? Is “PISS” really such a bad word and in what world does being “pissed off” equate being a redneck?
2. HANK and DRANK? “Crank up a little Hank, sit on the hood and draaaaaaaank” Really? Drink, drank, drunk. Pick a tense. Shut the fuck up. I hate you.
3. “Nah, he can’t amount to much by the look of that little truck.” Ummmm…because the size of your truck determines your self-worth? Well, I know I have a vagina, but I drove a 1976 3 Quarter Ton two-toned YELLOW Chevrolet Silverado with glasspacks for most of the 90′s and lets just say that giant pile of shit got about 12 miles to a gallon and got me pulled over on more than one occasion by Shitville, Texas’s finest and ticketed for “excessive exhaust noise”. I only drove it because my ass was broke and my Grandpa gave it to me. It may be against my own redneck roots, but I’d much rather date a man who owned a fuel-efficient vehicle because that means he doesn’t have to spend all his money on GAS and he can afford to buy my fat ass dinner. Shit, I’d much rather date a man who drives a Prius (Roger Creager) because we could drive that son of a bitch all the way up to the front door of Tiffany’s and he can get me something shiny in a little blue box.
Ok, ok…I will FULLY admit that the video is kind of cute and it is funny. The visual does make things a little more light-hearted and less…STALKERISH…but again, the song makes me livid. I think it is because it is pandering to how popular all things “redneck” are right. I just don’t know how much of this new “REDNECK PHENOMENON” is just about making money or better yet just something to give “country” singers an easy way to ONCE again slap some name-dropping, back road driving, trailer house bullshit into a song and daring us NOT to embrace it because if we DON’T eat that shit up with a spoon, we are turning our back on our roots. Look assholes, don’t you dare guilt trip me, I know where I come from! This is the same exact beef I have about singing how you are living a double wide dream while you are posting pictures on Facebook of your last vacation in the wine country. You can sell that shit somewhere else, because I ain’t buying it.
At this point I am just rambling to avoid having to turn on the news and see all the devastation the Oklahoma tornadoes left behind but yeah…I am sick to DEATH of redneck this and redneck that. Blah, blah blahhhhdity blah blah. BLAH. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I am PROUD of my redneck roots and I think we should ALL be, but just because you are a “redneck” doesn’t mean you are stupid and can’t control yourself without having to dress in camo and drive your 4 wheeler over to your ex-girlfriend’s house and throw beer cans at her window. That is against the damned law, you idiot. If you are going to go “Redneck Crazy” at least do something fun that is actually REDNECK CRAZY like make some meth in the Wal-Mart snack bar .
If you really think about it, sitting in some cheating whore’s yard and boo-boo-hooing to yourself is actually being a bit of a pussy. If you are going to go crazy over a girl, you might as well go all out like Crazy Eddie did. He just slammed down some grapefruit and Stoli, gathered up his pipe bomb making supplies and REALLY went redneck CRAZY on her ass.
Sidenote: With ALL this said, the phones in the studio STILL ring off the hook for this song and I would still totally slap Lee Brice on the ass and make him call me momma.
Sidenote of that sidenote: I wouldn’t throw Ty-Ty outta bed for eating pork rinds either. I just wouldn’t ever let him sing that stupid fucking song in my presence. EVER.