50 Shades Of Tiddy Bits

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We are off the the Rockin’ Heart American Heart Association Gala tonight.  My curls have already fell and my hair looks like it’s usual Brillo pad.  Fuck me.  I don’t even know what I try.  I hope they have an open bar or at least a bar.  You never know about these Waco baptists. I’m really excite about seeing John Conlee though.

I bought the 50 Shades of Porn book a few weeks ago, but I finally am sitting down to read this sucker…and oh my good golly.  I am blushing just thinking about it.  I don’t want to give away any spoilers but lets just say the 22 year old virgin’s hymen doesn’t make it past page 100. I think if some rich, hot billionaire made me sign some lawyer papers before he touched me….I’d make a run for it. I hope this book ends up happily ever after.

They don’t kiss.  They don’t cuss.  They sound boring as hell. 

If she kissed or cussed, she would have made the list. 

They forgot to mention she is banging Reba’s stepson. 

He should be #1! 

There is a fine line between animal lover and animal hoarder. 

I’ll burn your house down Annie got married. 

What we are buying…

Did David Allan Coe get a Brett Michaels’ weave? 

The AMA charty chart chart. 

He’s still hanging in there! 


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